You're a Jerk
by SorceressKyrsty
Summary: Sometimes, Sora can be a bit of a...well. It's occasional, but the problem is that Sora's spent enough time around actual nasty people he's developed an innate gift for being infuriating. Oneshot. I wanted someone to call Sora names, and this was what resulted. Probably a little OOC, since I have the black-haired version on my mind.


"That…that…conniving, manipulative, arrogant TWAT" Kairi cursed, storming down the corridor and bumping into Riku. The red-haired girl's clothes were dishevelled, as though she'd thrown them on in a hurry, and her cheeks were stained red.

"…Erm…who'd you run into?" he asked awkwardly.

"Oh, he never shows it in front of you" Kairi hissed, pointing at the silverette. "Look at me I'm a sweet little angel, la de da" she mocked, twirling around before facing him, her face still livid. "I'm talking about that _bastard _named Sora!"

Riku blinked at her a few times. "Are you hallucinating?"

"Like I said, never shows it in front of you" she spat, continuing to stalk down the stairs. "I tell ya, Riku, he's worse than Organization XIII combined sometimes. He could give Xehanort a run for his money!"

The door slammed, and Riku starred in her wake, absolutely baffled.

From somewhere upstairs, someone was laughing madly, and he could hear the sound of someone banging on the floor.

Looking worried, Riku wandered upstairs, opening the door to find Sora rolling around on the floor, laughing like a madman.

"Oh man, Riku, you shoulda seen her face!" he snorted, before continuing to laugh hysterically and slap his hand into the ground. Wracking his brain, Riku was almost 100% positive he'd never seen such a literal definition of 'roflmao' in his entire life.

"…What did you do?" he asked slowly, raising a silver eyebrow.

"Eh, it was her fault" said Sora, standing up and throwing himself onto a double bed with a flump, taking in deep pants of air. "She thought she'd try to beat me at casino games."

Riku grimaced. Sora's luck was impeccable when it came to chance games, and he was very good at poker, too. No wonder she'd stormed off.

"'Course, I agreed on a condition" he said slyly. "Each game required removal of one entire article of clothing; so both socks, for example. Kairi, bless her soul, wasn't wearing socks. Or shoes. Or much besides a jacket, dress, bra and panties."

Riku's mouth had slipped open in shock, and Sora gave him a sly grin. "Hey, I'm sixteen, Riku. Think I haven't learnt a few tricks or anything about girls? Plus, I've produced my first prize as the gaming king and a teenager."

Sora flopped over the side of the bed, beginning to twirl around his finger what looked like…

No.

No way.

"Sora" said Riku, his voice barely above a croaked whisper. "Are those-…you didn't seriously…?"

_Kairi's panties._

"You are AWFUL" Riku said in shock, staring, and Sora burst out laughing again.

"Oh come on! It was a bit of fun. She'll never forgive me, but at least she knows not to attempt strip poker with me any time soon. Not like pickings are slim…"

Sora sat up on the bed, looking at his friend. "You think the gang from Twilight Town would agree to strip poker?"

"How did it ever come to this…" Riku whispered, shaking his head.

"Could probably convince Tifa…that'd be interesting. Cloud would be funnier though."

"Sora, stop" Riku spluttered. "Before you let the power go to your head."

"Ok, ok" said the brunette, before a delighted and evil expression dawned on his face. "On one condition."

Oh no.

"If you can beat me at a game, I'll stop. If you lose, you lose one article of clothing until you have none left, and are required to relinquish whatever underwear you're wearing. Deal?"

He was going to regret this one for all eternity, but maybe he could give his poor red-haired friend a bit of her dignity back.

Like hell.

Sometime later, Riku met up with Kairi, looking disgruntled. And only wearing his shirt to cover his manhood.

"Oh no, you didn't try and play him too?" she asked weakly, and he nodded dismally, listening to the laughter from upstairs.

"…problem is… I don't wear underwear" Riku muttered. "So he took all but one article of clothing as a consolation prize."

"This is pure evil" said Kairi, stamping her foot.

Truth be told it was probably just teenage antics, Riku mused inwardly, trying to ignore the cold gusts of wind caressing his exposed buttocks.


End file.
